If you were born and raised in Colorado, you already have certain instincts embedded in you that tell you right from wrong. For example, you already to know to smother your food in green chile, gun it at a yellow light, and cheer for the Broncos, win or lose. You also already instinctively know to avoid these 12 things at all costs:
1. Staying on topic with the Broncos, Coloradans should avoid Patriots* fans at all costs.
Flickr/Steve Baker
*Not just Patriot fans, but also Chiefs, Raiders, Cowboys, and pretty much any other team.
2. Fast food that isn’t fast casual.
Jazz Guy/Flickr
I’m sorry, but the Golden Arches got nothing on the fast-casual goodness that is Chipotle, Smashburger, and Noodles & Co., all of which were founded right here in Colorado!
3. Domestic beer.
Flickr/Joe Parks
Look, we aren’t being snobby (or at least trying to be snobby); we are just used to the world-class brews that are made right here in Colorado.
4. Californians…
Flickr/Jim Ellwanger
It’s nothing personal; we are just sick of you guys moving here and then complaining about how it isn’t California… that’s the point!
5. …and Texans.
Flickr/Sean Davis
See: Californians. (Also, Cowboys fans… blech!)
6. Being inside.
Flickr/Kendall
With so many things to see and do around Colorado, why would you ever want to waste it on the couch?!
7. Driving on I-70 West during ski season…
Flickr/Michael
Say no to I-70 and yes to literally any open backroads. (Trust us; going slower on these streets will still get you there faster than crawling along the interstate!)
8. …and I-25 every minute of every day.
Flickr/alexmerwin13
WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE ROAD THAT RUNS NORTH-SOUTH?!
9. Casa Bonita.
Flickr/Wally Gobetz
Going to Casa Bonita is one of those (gross) rite of passages that we recommend trying once… and only once. Trust us; after waiting in line for more than an hour, bearing the humidity from the waterfall, being chased by the rabid gorilla, and then overpaying for the less than high-quality fare – you will have no real desire to go back.
10. Potholes.
Flickr/Sam Saunders
Did you see the news the other night about that gigantic sinkhole in Denver that swallowed a car? A pothole is just a baby sinkhole that is waiting for the day it can consume the entire state of Colorado.
11. Weed dealers.
Flickr/Sebastian
You guys… weed is legal here. You no longer have to meet Ricky R. in the back alley of the Flatirons Mall.
12. Cats.
Flickr/Jan Marlyn Reesman
We know who our best friend is… and it isn’t this guy (who appears to want to kill us in our sleep). Dogs will always be the best.
